I’m a nail biter. Well, I was anyway. I’m an artist and I work with my hands, and sometimes I get paint, clay and whatever else under my nails. I hate that, so I keep my nails super short. I clip when I have clippers, but if I’m bored (restless) I just can’t help myself. Nibble and tear, anything not attached to the nailbed goes bye-bye.
It’s not such a problem now, and I give credit to Citalopram. See, I had to move last month when my old apartment flooded from our upstairs neighbor’s plumbing leak. It was super stressful and I busted my ass getting the old place cleaned up because I was just sure they would take our whole deposit if I didn’t. Turns out they were much more understanding of the awful situation. There was nothing to worry about except my heart fluttering in my chest. For the last year, I’ve consumed a full-size Monster energy drink every day, and when my heart started feeling strange, I dropped it like…a bad habit. I went cold turkey on the caffeine and did a super detox of no less than 72 oz. of water each day, plus things like Gatorade so I could move furniture and boxes upstairs in 100+ Texas weather. Without the caffeine, I was still feeling like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. There was no pain, but at one point my pulse was 135. I had my boyfriend drive me to the doctor immediately. Because I was able to stop the discomfort by talking and being distracted, I was certain that it was a panic attack and not a heart attack, but I accepted the EKG anyway to be safe. The doctor agreed that anxiety was a problem for me, and she put me on Celexa. She also lowered my dose of thyroid medication, citing that as the initial cause of my panic attacks.
I’m feeling much better, and I have to admit Citalopram (generic Celexa) is the most mild anxiety medication I’ve ever used. I took Lexapro for a short time and Zoloft too, and those just made me really intense. Celexa makes me stop biting my nails and not worry about having enough money, which means I actually eat less. Funny how that works.
Basically, I’m saying there’s nothing at all wrong with accepting some help for possible mood disorders. Depression and anxiety can tear you apart on the outside as well as the inside, so you need to get your chemistry balanced before you try to cover up with makeup.
I’m super excited to use all these wonderful colors too!